Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
