kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
