im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he told me I talked like a deaf person
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
