All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
