At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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