I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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