I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
