I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
