Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
