If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
