Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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