I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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