Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
