He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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