this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
