i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
