are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
should my penis look like a turkey
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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