Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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