Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
