Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
