And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
