Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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