so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
