I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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