dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
