I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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