by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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