i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
