omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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