Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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