Porn is love you can see.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
