Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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