why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am available for nakedness
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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