I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
