Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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