well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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