I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
