R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
