How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
