i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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