he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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