Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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