bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
