I am puke
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
