sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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