Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
