At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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