fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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