That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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