Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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